Thursday, January 31, 2013

Social Talk. Text 168.

SS - Staf surveillance department presentation.

In order not to be downsized department, me, as head of it, was intrusted a task of representing what we actually do, yet not in the way presentations should be done, nor in the way things really are in our department. Presentation ought to aim only one target - to stay alive.

My team has been studying this issue for almost ten minutes, and came to a conclusion that we are not the ones to be fired due to numerous video files we possess. Would you like to see men in back room playing poker? Or chief financial officer holding a party in the headquarters every weekend?

Of course that data is to be used only as plan B, but it's better to be prepared. With all above mentioned in my mind, I started to write my actual presentation text.

Firstly I would mention how we improve quality of services our company provides by monitoring all our workers online activity in popular social networks, such as editing posts in nosebook and banning giggles in snicker. Then I'd say something about how we build inter workers relationship, and then I would gently hint about surveillance cameras all over the place.

If this doesn't work, I will go straight to the plan B. With my text finished and reread several times, I headed to the chief executive to discuss which department to abolish.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Social Talk. Text 167.

Speedom off reech total shock.

Writing a social talk we must use only valid grammar, but what if we didn't? Lets try to change it a bit.

We speak not must Russian here in. It's understandable, or this one.. Not should information our include personal speech.

Sounds like gibberish isn't it? That rule (of things affected by rules) applies to virtually everything, excluding, perhaps, only chaos theory. Yet some people try to implement chaos in art, in attempts to create something new using their vision - something that's now called - modern art.

Here in NewTone we're not so often allowed to free our minds completely, and that's a good way to study I must admit, but since we're having our last class of the "Freedom of speech week", lets try a bit of impromptu. Brace yourself, here it goes.

Study had about great, little would I verse, I know it be.
The badly words to lines are not, but shuffled tell about.
We've best to got it seems, in grammar's me and our study it.
Go the day insane lets not, is nuts, but lets go today.


(correct variant)
Little verse about study would be great, I know, I had it.
But the lines are shuffled badly, not to tell about words.
Grammar's best in our study, and it seems to me, we've got it.
But today is not the day, lets go nuts, lets go insane!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Social Talk. Text 166.

One week in the head hunting agency.

Matt's younger brother Stanley, who recently returned from his seemed to be endless mission in Bolivia, was hardly employed, constantly unsatisfied with himself type of guy, whose occasional moan would make anybody go nuts. So when his niece, Diana, offered him to try out his skills in head hunting, he willingly accepted the vacant "job shadowing" place in Ryan O Mars enterprise.

The next day he departed to his new work, and returned only in nine days time. Full of energy, ready to conquer the world and make around the globe voyage at the same time. His first phrase was: - I'm in. - and the second one - Give me something to eat. I'm starving.

After double supper he finally began to talk.

The first head was just marvellous, - he told. - A genius head whose IQ is over two hundred with knowledge of astrophysics was required in two days. We dashed through the major universities and schools for gifted, but my sudden thought helped us to do all in time. We cornered two individuals within given scope in the online game when they were cheating, and making in-game gold out of thin air.

The second task was something extraordinary. Find a head, task stated, which doesn't want to be found and seeks the truth only in reflections. I was perplexed yet thrilled, but having known nothing about this particular head just followed my team leader into depth of unknown.

His phone rang, and Stanley, giving it a tiny glance, raced to the front door. By the time he reached the pavement, black sport car stopped near him.

My family is in a bit of a shock right now, but me, Diana Longster, knows everything about that organization. Ryan is my close friend, and I believe that I entrusted my uncle in the right hands. After all it's the best job ever.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Social Talk. Text 165.

(Task: write mission statement for your imaginary enterprise)

The task of developing a mission statement for Ryan O Mars Head Hunting agency turned out to be the most difficult yet, so Diana, being a very reasonable person, and having tried everything she could, went to bed with feelings of bitter despair circling in her mind.

Subconscious is very powerful thing, - she thought - maybe it will do the compilation of the facts I know, and produce me a well crafted statement? After ten minutes of annoying tumbling in the bed, she whispered some fancy economic term and felt asleep.

Waking up at six o'clock the first thing she did was writing down that sleepy nonsense her head was still digesting in the state of morning trance. Bur when Diana returned from the shower with her cup of coffee and favorite strawberry bagel from Nick's best bakery, early note instantly caught her attention.

Grayish, pencil written, letters were jumping out from the scrap of DreamWriter sticker, trying to convey it's message, which was - "There are no indispensable people."
Thought, bright a as day, raced though her mind - I knew I can make it! It's definitely the one I've been looking for.

Screaming and yelling shouts of joy she dashed to her car in the slippers and bathrobe and in several minutes was working at her office computer with all templates of master slogan she has been developing for over a month now. But sudden allarm made her raise her head. Intuitively pulling her hand she reached round and buzzing object which turned to be her bed table alarm clock.. she woke up instantly, but the answer has been already found.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Social Talk. Text 164.

(Task: Fill out form.)

Demand.

In modern world, headhunting is quite in demand due to constant lack of highly qualified people, but in ancient times it was a little bit different way to spend time.

Potential customers / audience

Today it can be any company, or individual, who wants to get full or part time employee with required skill set. Yet back then it was a person who'd like to have a specific head or head set.

Price

That's the most interesting part. Taking headhunting requests we try to maximize your profit, trying to deliver as many candidates data as we can, if not specified otherwise. Thus our expences can be doubled or even tripled depending on circumstances we'd encounter. As for the past usage of headhunting services - it was one silver coin per head.

Target group

Market dictates it's rules - so the one asking for a favour is our target group. You're five and want to get a lawyer to sue your kindergarten friend? We're at your service. You're ninety nine and want to find yourself a partner for the rest of your days? We're on it. There is no limits for our hunting.
Yet, as far as we aware, previously it was only elite who had a chance to be a target. I mean target group.

Your product's benefits (UPSs)

We claim that we can bring any person to your office within certain time frame, hence we have widest possible UPS - every single human falling in that category. I must add that comparing to past UPS quantity, which has been always singular, namely head, modern headhunting is a huge step forward.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Social Talk. Text 163.

(Task: What if my business plan worked out?)

My business plan task was fulfilled with one idea in mind, we need heads, and if that presentation tend to be funny and more visual, this text is about to be as serious as it could be.

While head-hunting term could be understood differently, what it really means is how it literally being pronounced. Modern world consists of millions of companies who would give a lot to acquire smart person who is pro and can increase revenue of an enterprise. That's how hiring agencies appeared, and proved themselves to be a very viable business.

The head is the main goal of venture called hunting. Agency not just places ads and commercials with work offers, but actually huts every single men in the scope required. Good times, when companies could have chosen top dogs out of hundreds applied, are gone, and contemporary world compels us to find new ways of hiring, of actual hunting for the personnel in the city jungles.

You can hire a dozen, a hundred workers, but certain strategies had proven that a sole human could triple your company profit in a year. And my agency would have found this human, if it were founded under my meticulous supervision.

What does it show, this, so called, modern hiring policy? That me, as experienced professional, will be able to find appropriate job in the matter of days. And the most important that now it's me who picks the company, from now on and forever.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Social Talk. Text 162.

Task for our social was to create funny business plan for imaginary company. I must say that whole group accomplished task quite well, and some of the presentations were very funny. Here goes mine: Ryan O Mar enterprise

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Social Talk. Text 161.

If I were to buy a franchise, what would it be?

In my mind, there is a voice -
I need franchise, I need a choice.
To make a business of my own,
and to have moneys constant flow.

But it is hard for me to have,
a weapon business - selling planes.
And neither of the countries will,
give me the power to be king.

So is there single one for me?
A dream franchise, are you to be?
Or maybe printing money is?
I have been looking it for years.

I guess that knowledge mine is weak,
should have predicted it, I think.
Where is the one I'm craving for?
Does it stand behind the door?

Door slams open - postman's here.
There's recruitment letter sir!
I guess my dreams come to an end.
Army's waiting - that's dead end.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Social Talk. Text 160.

Describe pros and cons of becoming an entrepreneur.

I'm working nine to five, but my friend are all just fine.
They are bosses, not like me - mere cleaner on the street.
Roy has car-sale and scrap yard, he's best dream - is Cadillac.
Mandy, Roys young sister's geek - has her own pink / blond boutique.
And the oldest, fatty boy, has a bar with vast deploy.

They have cars, a house, flat. All they may have wanted yet.
Suddenly - a brightest flash. I'm not worse then them. Not yet.
Could it be so that my dream - "to have streets just nice and clean",
be implanted in this town, with the help of my own mind?
Would I dare to take a risk, starting "Little Ryan's clean"?

This would be the mightiest firm, holding business of new form.
Clean with robots and so on, so that people stayed at home.
No necessity at all, do the meenest job of all.
Think in future I would be.. CEO or executive.
And my old and dearest friends are allowed to be right hands.

Dreaming of the place I'll live, I forgot I need to clean.
I was fired the same day, kinda lame of me, must say.
Guess that ventures aren't for me, they are making me feel sick.
Now I'm pity I'm not geek, otherwise I could've succeeded.
Could have done it, be delighted, but instead I'm here and fractured.

New study.

We're about to face new challenge in English study - new business course in our language school. Don't know exactly what it like, but I'm sure it will be as fun as others.

Hope to write few more "social talks"..