Social Talk. Text 199.

Task: 10 things you would be proud to have been fired for.

Taking this question seriously, I'd say that nobody wants to be fired for something that he or she has done, but using rather fun approach, I'd add that if one is willing to quit, it could be done in a manner of a game.

Attention. Do not try this at home or work. All described bellow is fiction and haven't been used in real life.

Lets start with water coller. Nowadays you can easily buy a gallon or two of pure spirit, dilute a little bit and fill water coller with it. Should be fun to watch how your colleagues drink glass of fresh, cold "water". I wonder.. if there someone who wouldn't show any sign that something is not right?

Then proceed to the next level of your mischief. Unplug mouse from every single PC, write a love message from random worker and place it on your bosses table, if possible, sneak out some phone and change names in address book, from boss to lover, from laundry to dirty and so on, be creative.

That's just a little list of things you can do while quitting that, to some extend, could be applied to any workplace or school. Take care and be careful with coffee machine.

Social Talk. Text 198.

Task: Is firing an employee a way of conflict resolution?

When one single worker has done so much, that he could easily be fired for that, you should, as a boss or head manager of this person ask yourself whether you want to go through this one more time, and then one more time, and more and more.

People rarely change, making themselves slaves of current actions. One misstep and you're doomed to be called weak forever. Or until you change you work.

So as a boss, I would tell that firing is easiest solution, and it's better then trying to adapt to his or her whims. But as an employee, I'd say that you should think of quitting willingly rather then wait to be fired.

Social Talk. Text 197.

Task: heated argument between person and a table.

Take me up and take me down,
then just do it all around.
There's no time for you to blow it.
I'm heavy and I know it.

You're wooden freak, shut up and go,
to Mary Louise on six floor.
She's been expecting you today,
a sturdy kitchen table, as they say.

I'm on my way, don't hurry me,
my knees are bended, silly me.
You need to push me in the back,
or carry my whole body as backpack.

You're wooden table, stomp yourself.
And your whole body, as you said,
weights more then human being,
so do your steps and don't be mean.

Two hours later, me and him,
were on six floor and ting-a-ling.
Young lady opened, said she's Kate,
and Mary lives in building A.

Social Talk. Text 196.

Task: free topic about Earth day.

Earth day is known to be annual event of expression love towards our planet, day of showing intentions, day of thinking ahead, day of many words. John Jay Junior always remembered this day as a happy, joyful one, with a little tint of madness.

Year after year things have been happening on that day. Three J, as many of his friends used to call him, knew that not a single logical explanation could be applied to his fate, thus making himself believe it was just a mischievous guardian angels playing tricks on him.

First year, when it all started, Junior was chosen to be representative of his own town in the state kindergarten contest. Next year was claimed of beating a boy in the school and was transferred to a seedy school nearby. Another year it was broken leg or student grant, totalled car or big jackpot.

Sad and happy John has been, on a sunny day of April every single year in spring.

Having found bad and good, Jay found out that his striped life has come to an end. On this day, two years before, he met a girl, one year later married her, and right now, three in a row, he's expecting family to grow.

Social Talk. Text 195.

Task: how can one become internationally aware?

Term cross-cultural awareness implies your understanding of a situations you might face being abroad, or at least your awareness that such circumstances are quite feasible. But how can one become aware of all possible and impossible threats he might accidentally put himself in?

Should you know only the bottom of an abyss between your nations and avoid using concessions or just being polite, you're jeopardizing yourself to get branded as shallow and superficial person whom nobody would trust a business deal.

Yet being extra agreeable makes you look like an newbie in negotiations or business, thus tantamount to a loose. So you need to be persistent and have guts to take precedence over the situation if needed.

Social Talk. Text 194.

Task: distinguishing features of business negotiations in different countries.

First of all I'd like to say that contemporary world forces you to follow the leader, which now consists of several countries, and negotiations are not exception. There are dozens of rules and tactics you cannot avoid using. And while those guide lines are considered to be handy and useful, some still refer to the past century as the last, truly golden, age of business.

Yet, in my opinion, in terms of business and negotiations there were even better times. The times Before Christ.

Bargaining was the most used tactics. Were you a king or a mere sailor - you should have used it artfully to have the scales of win-lose on your side, and of course bad outcome might have been a lot worse then nowadays.

Being a representative of modern society I'd add that rarely do people switch back to something they have dropped using long time ago, but if they do, they often regret doing it.

Social Talk. Text 193.

Task: what would you do having found yourself in prisoners dilemma?

One way out, you know, to be.
One way out it's all you see.
There is no escape, yet three,
little options to be free.

Option one is in regrets.
Make him silent, and just tell.
Tell them all, - that was his fault,
but it's your time to behold.

Option two is mutual fail.
Both are talking, but in vain.
Both oblivious and greedy,
will be serving full time swiftly.

And the last one. That one's good.
You are quiet, and he should.
Where the reason for a flee?
If you're silent - you are free.

Social Talk. Text 192.

Task: free topic.

Rarely do we think about negotiation before it happens, and the idea that improvisation should be craftily prepared is often omitted. Whether you're appliance salesman, or a teacher at NewTone, or maybe you're just met some friend whom you owe a little - you should be ready.

Be ready to put up a squabble, to answer various questions happy client firing you with, or just to be yourself. All that's required is at hand knowledge and certain skill.

So how can you improve you chances of winning the negotiation? Should it be experience? Or perhaps a bit of luck? Who knows.. the only thing we know for sure is that negotiations are considered to be tricky and it's not a place or time to manifest your coy.

Social Talk. Text 191.

Task: are negotiations for weak people?

In certain way negotiations are meant to be a remedy for people, to help them meet each other needs throughout reciprocation or logrolling, finding common ground in the known to be deserted areas of business or relationship. But your attitude towards this method of solving the upcoming issues is irrelevant unless you've been practising it for years.

A s for the weak people, they are considered to be vacillating in commitments and always try to amend the things that have been done ages ago. They are reluctant to make first step, and it seems so that no one, who's not strong enough, doesn't seem to be capable of making any use of negotiations.

Should it be win-win arrangement in your mind, it's always win-lose in the tough reality.

Social Talk. Text 190.

Task: is our life a sales cycle?

Whether it's sales cycle or any other fancy term, it could denote our life with equal meanings, making it seem like is has sense. But life itself, thanks to it's diversity, could be perceived as anything, including vicious sales cycle.

You're being conceived as a prospect, which was a lead to one couple some day. And this couple has been qualifying each other for a long time, handling objections and making marvellous presentations. But would it be possible without initial contact they had, that was appointed by the lead, in other words thanks to a friend who happened to be their referral.

I know you consider this explanation to be dubious, but here you are. New member of society. A prospect to your parents, a presentation for your fellows, an objection to your enemies and a closed sale to your future spouse.

Do you like that definition of a life by a sales cycle? I guess it's just another way to say that I'm alive.

Social Talk. Text 189.

Task: depict your product sales approach using seven stages of a sales process.

My headhunting agency is constantly developing, breaking through the boundaries of impossible, and to maintain constantly groving demand for professionals, we must have them at our hands. So today we're the ones who are in search. Pondering over depth of modern business I've got my new assistant to elaborate on seven stages of sales process with above mentioned requirements in mind. Next morning following profound data was in my mailbox.

1. Generating sales leads.
We should act like getting sales were our company's main goal, so I suggest to make a move towards main universities and private schools of top ten countries at least. Prospects are expected to be found among the middle and high rank teachers.

2. Setting an appointment.
Visit lectures for purposeful meeting, or look for a prospect in their favourite pubs for casual atmosphere

3. Qualifying the prospect.
Main criteria of a prospect relatively to our needs would be level of his classes. Things such as complexity of a particular study, number of previously graduated students who are involved in high science and other major figures listed in addition A to this letter should be taken into consideration. On the other hand we must confirm their verification of our intentions by letting the prospect peek at our price list for infiltration agents.

4. Making presentation.
Showing data on recent ten deals would be enough to encourage anybody to cooperate.

5. Handling objections.
Key to success at that point is to put our rules of engagement in front of any other. Anybody who has objections to what has been shown to them, should be eliminated from priority lists no matter what.

6. Closing the sale.
Having constructed the objections stage so craftily, I may say that closing the deal is not a problem at all.

7. Asking for referrals.
The most wise choice is to ignore all restrictions in making the wrong deal in favour of good referrals. We can hire janitor as our agent for certain data that he has access to. And as well as hiring a janitor, occasionally we might consider possibility of neglecting influence on the principal as a right one.

End of the letter.

Social Talk. Text 188.

Task: imagine your friend's calling you and says that he cheated on his client a little bit, for his company advantage, but obvious loss of money on the clients side. What would you do?

As a friend I would ream him a little, and several minutes later I would say something like this:

What you did has no concern with your ethics or moral, it's just your job to run things well. Aren't you suppose to sell cars? Or have you forgotten about your direct duties? To make profit for your employeer. You are the last person who should be blamed for the ramifications.

I bet that woman had had dozens of options like yours, but only thanks to her laziness she had chosen that particular retailer that happened to be your workplace and have willingly accepted your democratic proposal. Or at least she thinks so.

After all people like her have been fostering bosses just like yours for generations, and if she cannot stop, then greedy retailers would swim in cash forever.

Social Talk. Text 187.

Task: make a poster. Romance at workplace awareness.

Slides album in google+

Slides text:
1. (blank - intro speech)  Modern society has variety of rules to be applied to a mere worker, but one of the cruellest one is dates restrictions, most companies have. So..
2. beware (creepy silence)
3. of love (should be said in harsh manner)
4. brought to you by Ryan (calm and cosy voice)
5. (just frame)  Lets start from setting up some boundaries.
6. And another one.
7. Lets take for example a worker who works just fine, but might have been involved in some dating with a peer experience.
8. Bad worker. (fast and loud)
9. Now lets take another worker who's oblivious to any inklings of a heart.
10. That's a good worker. (calm, but sure voice)
11. You can tell by their look. The one is said, and that other is pretty happy. You see.
12. Lets put them into separate cubicles.
13. (heart shown)  What ramification can "lovey-dovey" actually cause?
14. (just lines)  There are only two ways.. and each of them is harmful to a company.
15. You got engaged, then kids, then you're late for work and evetually got yourself fired.
16. Or the other one - you split up and for months you're just useless decrepit piece of worker.
17. I hope this motivational poster would change your mind in this serious matter.

Social Talk. Text 186.

Task: pros and cons of making chalk from one and cheese from another.

Favoritism is something that any company should try to avoid in the process of maintaining its workers, but who am I kidding? That's only theoretical, yet ought to be mandatory, statement proved to be useless in real world.

Lets take, for example, salary.. before (or after, which depends on various reasons) you're being interviewed you have a right to claim your future compensation package. It's not a favoritism yet, even though equal workers have different salary, but can evolve into one if worker with lower salary and bigger amount of work finds out yours.

Regardless of such manifestation of power this method allows proper allocation of resources due to simple thing: work more and you will get more. All you have to do as a manager is convey you message properly, so that every one understands it well.

It's not favoritism, you may say, but what would you answer were you on the lower salary man place?

Social Talk. Text 185.

Task: is it easier to be a team member or a team leader?

I cannot give specific answer as for what is easier, but I can tell for sure that being a team leader is much harder. You not only have bigger pile of work at your table which should be done quicker and better in comparison to ordinary worker, but also certain quantity of people who ought to be supervised by you.

But what ramifications should you feel if one day you're being promoted to a team leader? Lack of sleep in critical moments of development stages, higher risks of being dismissed in case something goes wrong and so on. Which leads us to a question whether it's really so necessary to be a team leader, making work a huge part of your life, when you can be just an employee whose job is to be at work in time, and keep up with the surrounding cubicles.

These dubious questions might dash though any mind thinking over cons and pros of an offer, but we all know that, beside obvious, such proposal will tell who you really are.. aspiring, valuable worker or just a work horse.

Social Talk. Text 184.

Task: creativity, is it innate or could be boosted?

Such feature of human, I guess, is possessed by majority, but thanks to its nature is also lost by many.
Regardless of creativity level you're given at birth, you could easily lose it, as well as develop it into much bigger possession.

Having bits of laziness your parents had since childhood, you'd probably get a slight inclination into sloppiness with decisions and actions, but nevertheless that hint of a awkwardness may be gone by just equal amount of strain from your side.

What I'm trying to say is that people got lost in modern world of possibilities, with help of gadgets and handy services we're doomed to be slaves of our own fears and complexes. More and more people use Google even before they start questioning themselves what should I do.. But asking search engine isn't such good idea, your brain get used to it to quickly for you to notice the problem, and in the matter of month, not years, you're an addict!

Think by yourself if you need this piece of information, but if you just try, you might get marvellous results you'd never expect from inner you.

Social Talk. Text 183.

Task: 10 unorthodox ways to use a brick.

Brick a weapon, brick a wall,
brick a pillow and a ball.
Brick to think and brick to cry,
brick to use it in last try.
Brick is stiff, so use it well -
measure depth of deepest hell,
brick to save your fire heat,
brick to solve all people's needs.

That chant represents only eleven things that could be done to a reddish rectangular parallelepiped known as a brick, but talking about brick as a metaphor, I'd like to speculate about one assumption.. Assume that brick you're holding is not just brick, it's The Brick.

Pyramids are made from bricks, and they managed to survive through generations of people with few scratches on them, but were they just separate bricks, nobody would even give them a glimpse.

What could be done to my brick, you can ask yourself, to make it a lot more then it is? Easiest solution is to give it to some person that collects bricks and ask something in return for it instantly or in distant future.
The other option is that you can become that one man who collects bricks and builds pyramids from them.

In contemporary world brick is symbol of power. Virtual bricks, known as shares, are the essence of any corporation. You give them your brick and in return you receive a paper with statement that you will have got twice bricks you donated by the end of the year if you sign there and there.

It's up to you where to stick your brick.

Social Talk. Text 182.

Task: free topic.

Talking about business management structures, I cannot avoid mentioning some real examples of restrictions that could be applied to an average office worker nowadays.

Example number one. You can use only proved to be safe web pages. Which leads to dubious situations when you can use Google for search the topic you need, but can read nothing due to those limitations.

Example number two. You must be concentrated only on your current duties. Things such as repairing your laptop keyboard, changing light bulb in your cubicle or taking down the fire building engulfed with are not in your direct competence. Just ignore them.

Example number three. You may be forced to willingly collect stats on your working day. What software you have used the most, how long was your lunch, not to tell about when you have started to work and have you ever been working at all.

Example number five. Shadowing.. it's when your immediate manager is controlling your every step. Watching you making every single move. Suspiciously looking at you talking to colleague or using a phone.

Those are just rough estimation of a variety of situations you may find yourself one day. Just be cautious.

P.S. And with all those who're interested in where the hell is example number four, we will have our personal little chat.

Social Talk. Text 181.

Task: which type of management, in your opinion, is better, soft one or strict one?

Being on position related to Personnel management in some sort of way, I must say that both approaches - pampering one and scaring one are equally correct, but one should be used only with one employer relying on his personal features, requests and so on.

There're a lot of people whose goal on your job is not to make this company flourish, because they don't recognise themselves as a part of it, but only to follow orders. Such kind of people can be decent employers, but only under strict supervision.

The rest, and I assume there is smaller number of those who fall into this category, are self driven specialists who compare ones fails and success with company ones, thus making himself responsible for company soaring times, as well as the downfalls. Can you imagine what kind of stress this person is putting himself into? Do you still think that he needs additional money motivation?

There's no one solution for worker management and I think the best way is to find approach to every single individual you work with.. Then both of you will work better and harder for the sake of your mutual goal.

Social Talk. Text 180.

Task: Is it men's world?

Born a boy, yet not a man,
has whole life to try to tell:
is there difference in us?
Boy - a man, and boy - a guy.

Boy a sissy, I would say,
tend to be a common way these days.
Having thingy's not enough,
better check if you have guts.

Guts to make the right decision,
and respond for wrong one too.
Guts to say the words, and meant it,
guts to say that I love you.

And one day you'll be a man,
being even further from an end.
But right now obliged to do,
things that boy's just dreaming though.

Things which make you understand -
"man or woman" is not trend,
it is so that we're united,
and in any other way - just frightened.

Social Talk. Text 179.

Task: Kids - plus or minus while seeking a job?

First of all I want to clarify - what kind of question this is? How should I, as a worker, say that my kids would influence my work? And how any employer can even assume such thing? Aren't we all human?

But that's just first impression, which is, frankly speaking, quite right. Think yourself, have you hired a man with a kid, would you threat him differently knowing that he has or has not wife and decent house in suburb. And having him not hired would you changed your opinion if you had realized that his daughter is marrying next month?

Anyway, I'd like to highlight positive aspects of hiring someone with kids, and in my opinion such people are both more persistent in decisions and positive in general. Which makes them ideal applicants for office worker.

As for the employers point of view, such workers prove to be more profitable. They try to do all duties in time to get bonuses and if they ask for a sick leave - be sure they mean it.

What really concerns me, is that such man or woman doesn't fit into risky offers. So it's up to you whom to employ.

Social Talk. Text 178.

Stress. Work. Stimulus.

Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.
Coffee. Candy. Cutting corner.
Seamless stress surrounds some.
Love, laughs - later. Labelled - lag.
Work was witness, work would wait.
There's Tom. Trapped traitor's tamed.
Stimulus's sly spell! Superb stiff set.
Silly situation's - solemn stress.
Wine won't work, we want withdrawal.
Honest homey, hustle hurdle.
Story's sad. Should summarize.
Hope. Betrayal. Fake. Speed-up!

Social Talk. Text 177.

Task: Create five "strange" question which you'd ask interviewee. What each of them should reveal?

"On the interview " chant, by Ryan.

Would you dare to ask a man:
Where've you been on April ten? (there)
Whom fat neighbours cat reminds you? (pigeon)
Where's the candle from the night ball? (in my pocket)
When the longest day of year? (birthday)
What do flying fish do to swim? (dive)
Have you ever tried to cry? (one time)
Why all pigeons are so shy? (cause of cats)
Does your friend avoid the law? (only bends it)
Groaning mood, but whom to stall? (chase your tail)
Tiny tiny - where it grows? (in the egg)
Color's green, connection lost,
your brain starts the neuron burst.
Raw emotions, truly yours,
no one ever was so close.
To the dead end of no where,
to the deepest depths of cortex layer.
All is done, you were so brave,
you're not hired yet not failed.
You just showed that it could be -
pure mind, so young and sweet.
Days have passed, but you still smile,
every time you see - HR.

Social Talk. Text 176.

Task: create CV for fictitious character - Neo, from Matrix.

Name: Thomas A Anderson aka Neo aka The One
Cell phone: Nokia 8810i
Email: deleted due to rare usage available
Photo: call me, and I'll be there for you

Areas of Expertise:
Highly trained in marshal arts and weapon systems of all sorts. Can write program code. Occasionally foresee future.

Professional background
Date (starting with the most recent), Place of employment, Position, Responsibilities

2004 - present time: unemployed due to fully fulfilled duties.
2000 - 2003: Place: Zion, Position: The chosen One, responsible for saving people of Zion from extinction and the city itself from destruction.
1999 - 2000: Place: Outside of the Matrix, Position: job shadowing on the vacancy of The chosen One, responsible of self training and saving my mentor.
prior to 1999: Place: Inside the Matrix, Position: program writer for a respectable software company. Responsible of being at work on time.

Educational background
Date (starting with the most recent), Institution, Department, Diplomas acquired

No specific date: Attended Central West Junior High and Owen Patterson High. Was involved in football and hockey.

Additional information



Achievements: Saved Zion, neutralized 241 Matrix agents.
Internships: at Nebuchadnezzar with Morpheus in charge.
Language proficiency: English, bad English, C++, Java and Latin.
Other skills: Stop bullets with raised hand or capable of avoiding them if the right moment comes. Can see Matrix developed individuals as yellow something. Can decode Matrix code. Can fly and other stuff like that.
Personality: very generous, white rabbit lover, and desperate in helping other with nothing in return.


Please do not threat this text as a reference. I love Matrix trilogy, but some "facts" were exaggerated for the sake of lesson where this text was told. Thanks.

References used:
Wiki: Neo (ru)

Wiki: Neo (eng)

Social Talk. Text 175.

Task: Worse job ever. Ad.

Man required for the job, six feet tall and funny one.
Will be doing easy work, fixing screws and drilling holes.
No excuses to be late, fees are higher every day.
One time meal included here, but on Wednesday and not free.
Team's hostile and likes no one, so you'd better be a bigger one.
Feel at ease, we fire none.. they all perished somehow.
Screws are tiny - ten inch long, drill supplied, but may be broken.
Pluses our work can give listed in the brief description here:
You work seven days a week, from nine to five and extra three.
You work here and there of course, Alabama, state NewYork,
Honolulu, and Alaska, and occasional Nebraska.
Two days off if you sick leave, or whole five is you big wheel.
Best and luckiest place to work, and nobody will say no.
The facility's superb - we have shower, even soap.
Hesitate my friend no more - calls us, we will pick you at the door.