Самостоятельная юстировка тушки Nikon D5100

(You can read this post in english)
Update: One question. Should I add proper translation instead of google translate? Anyone?

В интернете можно найти много статей и рекомендаций по юстировке объектива или тушки, и еще больше советов о том как нужно тестировать объектив перед покупкой, чтобы не допускать такой необходимости, но что делать если объектив уже на руках и постоянно "мажет"? Можно ли доверять найденным в интернете инструкциям? Не превратится ли моя камера в дорогой, со сменными объективами, кирпич?

Мне, как обладателю камеры и объектива с описываемым нюансом, хотелось бы видеть результат прежде чем лезть чем-то острым в район паха матрицы камеры.

Прежде чем начать, хочу сказать что есть универсальный способ избавится от проблемы, причем не требующий никакого вмешательства в работу вашей камеры - это снимать используя LiveView. Если вы никуда не спешите конечно.

А для тех, кого такой, мягко говоря, не быстрый способ, не интересует, могу сказать что операция прошла успешно, и ни одна матрица не пострадала. Но обо всем по порядку..


Введение

Многие обладатели зеркалок начального уровня снимают только китовым объективом, и, зачастую, довольны получаемым результатом. Но стоит только попробовать светосильный объектив, будь то фирменный фикс или советский Гелиос, как человека уже не остановить - хочется большего, того чего кит просто не умеет делать.

Так было и в нашем случае. Через пол года подаренный Гелиос уже выдавал хорошие картинки, но отсутствие автофокуса, и другие мелочи, сильно мешали комфортной съемке. Так что когда подвернулась возможность взять слегка подержанный, но в идеальном состоянии, Nikkor 50mm 1.8G, мы просто не смогли устоять.

После серии кадров объективом на нашей тушке, тщательного осмотра стекла, и проверки полученных кадров на компьютере - объектив был наш. Могу лишь сказать, что проблема с промахами не обнаружилась изначально по нескольким причинам:

• это был наш первый светосильный объектив с автофокусом
• первые несколько недель все списывалось на неумение работать с объективом
• в различных условиях камера выдавала различный результат фокусировки
• а редкие кадры, с правильным фокусом, еще больше уверяли в том, что это проблема рук а не фотоаппарата

После серии тестов, сначала с подручными средствами (наклоненная под 45 градусов линейка, примотанная скотчем к плечу), а затем и с первой попавшейся распечаткой мишени для юстировки, очевидное стало явным - объектив мажет. Но поскольку сервисного центра с нужной квалификацией в городе нет, да и стоит это не дешево, было принято решение провести операцию самому, и вот что обнаружилось при подготовке.

Имеется несколько способов устранения проблемы.

Снимать в режиме LiveView. Просто, надежно, бесплатно, но фокусировка становится ужасно медленной, сложной и не всегда точной.

Юстировка объектива. Надежно но очень дорого, и не доступно в данной местности.

А вот юстировка тушки может быть сделана тремя способами.

Программная юстировка из меню камеры. Хоть надежно и бесплатно, но доступно только на старших моделях камер, а потому не подходит.

(фото не мое)

Юстировка с помощью настройки положения/ориентации массива фазовых датчиков. Не очень надежно, бесплатно, и, в отличии от некоторых других зеркальных камер, D5100 для этого нужно частично разбирать, а посему данный способ был оставлен только в качестве запасного, и в конечном счете не был востребован.

(фото не мое)

Юстировка с помощью регулирования угла наклона зеркала. Не надежно, очень дешево (если ничего не сломать). Требует наличия прямых, не трясущихся, рук, и небольшого понимания того что вообще происходит.

У последних двух способов есть один большой минус - скорее всего, при установке другого объектива, мазать начнет уже он, т.е. мы изначально соглашаемся с тем, что настраиваем тушку только под один объектив. Но если покупать что либо еще в ближайшее время не планируется, и учитывая что операция, при определенном везении, является обратимой, бояться почти нечего.

Так же сразу хочу уточнить, что в последнем способе возможна проблема с фокусировкой по точкам, отличным от центральной, но об этом чуть дальше.

Если еще не передумали, то приступим. Нам понядобится:

• распечатанная мишень для тестов, но можно воспользоваться и планшетом с загруженной картинкой
• спринцовка
• набор дешевых шестигранных отверток (а именно на 2,0мм) с длинными, а не короткими ручками

• живая модель, для проверки работы фокуса в реальных условиях. Кот не подойдет, а вот жена/девушка/парень (нужное подчеркнуть) будет в самый раз.
• хорошее освещение

На освещении хотелось бы остановиться подробнее.

В силу несовершенства конструкции фазовых датчиков, и, возможно, программного обеспечения камеры, у младших зеркалок фокусировка имеет довольно большие допуски, которые не считаются промахом фокуса в прямом смысле слова, и при съемке в помещении с дешевыми лампами дневного света, проще говоря - экономками, промахи в фокусе являются довольно частым делом даже при отлично отъюстированном оборудовании.

Сама настройка проводилась в несколько этапов.

• контрольный замер фокуса
• снятие объектива
• поднятие зеркала включением режима LiveView
• погружение отвертки
• подкрутка эксцентрика
• очень аккуратное вынимание отвертки (Осторожно! Она имеет свойство застревать)
• продувка спринцовкой обсыпавшейся краски с эксцентрика
• надевание объектива
• проверка фокусировки на мишени
• проверка на модели
• проверка фотографий на компьютере
• повторение процедуры

Опытным путем, после двух-трех процедур, было установлено что поднятие отвертки вверх подвигает плоскость фокусировки ближе к объективу, а опускание отвертки вниз отодвигает плоскость фокусировки от объектива. Но при определенном положении эксцентрика направление поворота может изменяться.

(фото не мое)

Поражает точность данной системы - подкрутка на несколько градусов дает довольно ощутимое смещение плоскости фокуса, что в конце концов привело меня к мысли, что хоть я и возился с настройкой несколько вечеров, полученный результат вполне может оказаться почти идентичен тому что было до начала процедуры.

Кстати, в единственном видео, которое я нашел, и которое окончательно убедило меня в возможности такой процедуры, парень хоть и довольно небрежно крутит отверткой, но хотя бы показывает как добиться того что нужно.

Так же хочется чуть более подробно рассказать о методах проверки и реальном использовании такой системы.

Информацию о проверке фокусировки по распечатанной мишени можно найти довольно легко, равно как и множество других способов проверки “под линейку”. Но, в отличии от мишени, особенности фокусировки на лице все таки имеются.

Многие советуют - “фокусируйтесь по глазам”, но не многие уточняют, что при близком портрете можно использовать в качестве опорной точки как бровь, так и дальний/ближний уголки глаз. Естественно каждый из вариантов даст свои, отличные друг от друга, результаты.

При съемке портрета в полный рост для фокусировки можно использовать как глаза, так и рот, но для поясных, и более близких, портретов лучше все же использовать только глаза. Причем желательно учитывать угол поворота головы и фокусироваться на ближний к себе глаз, т.к. в таком случае выбор точки фокусировки еще более критичен и влияет на результат.


Теперь немного у грустном.

Довольно слабым местом фотоаппарата D5100 являются фазовые датчики, а точнее то, что только один из них - центральный, является крестообразным. Соответственно его точность заведомо выше остальных, и процедура юстировки была основана только на его показаниях. Что упрощает процесс настройки в разы, но ведет к такой особенности использования как перекадрирование после фокусировки. Ничего страшного, на мой взгляд, в этом нет, но этот момент нужно учитывать при использовании, и есть небольшой шанс, что у вас это будет (как возможно получилось у меня) непреднамеренно компенсировано при самостоятельной юстировке, т.е. камера будет давать наилучший результат именно при перекадрировании.

Все это не критично, и лишь дело привычки, если это ваш личный “инструмент”, но, как показывает практика, те кто берут эту камеру не часто или в первый раз - обычно мажут.

Что касается китового объектива, то могу сказать что после юстировки камеры под 50mm 1.8G он ставился всего два раза, из-за условий съемки, и примерно 40% фотографий китом были с промахом по фокусу..

Итог

Для тех кто еще не начал крутить заветные болтики - подумайте еще раз надо ли это вам? Привязка к одному объективу, возможная потеря гарантии (краска обсыпается, и хорошо видны следы вмешательства), съемка только по одной точке, наконец возможность сильного повреждения матрицы при малейшем касании отверткой.

Любой мастер сервисного центра посоветует вам не делать этого, т.к. по его словам вернуть все на свои места можно будет только на специальном оборудовании, за деньги естественно, и, думаю, отчасти он будет прав.

Что же касается моего мнения, то произведенной “операции” есть вполне логическое объяснение. D5100 не является профессиональной камерой и вряд ли есть смысл покупать для него парк оптики, но потренироваться в портретах смысл есть, ведь как иначе понять тянет ли тебя на серьезную съемку? Для серьезной съемки нужна и камера посерьезнее. Хотя бы D300s/D7100/D700 и т.д. или аналог от другой фирмы, которые обладают куда большими возможностями чем D5100. Следовательно если такой момент и наступит, то текущая камера будет возвращена в исходное состояние, и, на пару с китовым объективом, останется домашней камерой или вовсе будет продана.

D5100 + 50мм 1.8G, пара китайских вспышек и зонтов, синхронизатор и самодельный тканевый фон. Думаю более дешевого старта для любительского студийного фото просто не существует.

Все вышеизложенное никоим образом не претендует на оригинальность, и призвано лишь показать практическую возможность такой авантюры. Советы по тестированию и использованию являются полной отсебятиной, и могут не подойти вам или вашей камере.

Спасибо за внимание.

Social Talk. Text 202.

Task: industrial design. Is it works for both? Client and manufacturer?

Industrial design, as a part of product development process, is unique and sought after approach of improving product or service viability and customers satisfaction aimed at only one long term perspective - making money.

Your product may be innovative and capture its audience right away, but without proper industrial design it will start to lose the market value within the bat of an eye. On the contrary, it may be crappy idea, with nothing new in it, beside the colouring and.. and that's all, but thank to industrial designers in may find a way into your pockets.

In our digital world we have made industrial design the pinnacle of any company. But so called leaders of industry drag us to the future with the help of the same old carrot. Showing us this state of the art vegetable in different shapes and from different angles, making us believe that here it is, the missed puzzle, the core to your salvation, here you go - a little essence you were desperately trying to find for the whole life.. take it.. just nine, ninety nine.

Would you still believe that industrial design works for the mutual benefits of both - manufacturer and a client if you were said so? You have the answer.. just say it.

Social Talk. Text 201.

Task: how would you fire yourself?

Had I got a chance to fire myself, I would consider such possibility as fate and try instant fire, fire with fireworks, fire near fire escape and fire during fool moon with excuse of head ache and my wolf nature.

But taking fire approach seriously you'd rather think of how to implement a sneaky, and a bit tricky firing plan.

Taking into consideration long terms perspective, it would be good to push person to a limit, squeezing ones juices, making him a much better human, or making him fail every single deadline to have enough reasons for a fire.

But if you want to do it quickly, you just need to muster up your courage and fire this son of a female dog.

Social Talk. Text 200.

Task: I will never lose my job, because..

I don't have any. What I used to do, is to go to a strange place on a daily basis. We sit there, occasionally we eat and drink, but most of the time we are on our own just making things. Things we are willing to do for free. Things that make us joyful, and satisfaction of accomplishment is all we really want, but somehow we are being paid for that.

So losing a job is not really a problem, at least in my realm. It just means change in the managers and boos, changes in task priorities and so on and so forth. As long as IT exists many people might found themselves in similar state, state of having paid hobby.

Were I worker from a different sphere of activities, I'd probably thought proactively, and had a bunch of leads at hand, to jump out from the slowing down train, but I cannot be sure in that. I have my best hobby work in my best interests.

Social Talk. Text 199.

Task: 10 things you would be proud to have been fired for.

Taking this question seriously, I'd say that nobody wants to be fired for something that he or she has done, but using rather fun approach, I'd add that if one is willing to quit, it could be done in a manner of a game.

Attention. Do not try this at home or work. All described bellow is fiction and haven't been used in real life.

Lets start with water coller. Nowadays you can easily buy a gallon or two of pure spirit, dilute a little bit and fill water coller with it. Should be fun to watch how your colleagues drink glass of fresh, cold "water". I wonder.. if there someone who wouldn't show any sign that something is not right?

Then proceed to the next level of your mischief. Unplug mouse from every single PC, write a love message from random worker and place it on your bosses table, if possible, sneak out some phone and change names in address book, from boss to lover, from laundry to dirty and so on, be creative.

That's just a little list of things you can do while quitting that, to some extend, could be applied to any workplace or school. Take care and be careful with coffee machine.

Social Talk. Text 198.

Task: Is firing an employee a way of conflict resolution?

When one single worker has done so much, that he could easily be fired for that, you should, as a boss or head manager of this person ask yourself whether you want to go through this one more time, and then one more time, and more and more.

People rarely change, making themselves slaves of current actions. One misstep and you're doomed to be called weak forever. Or until you change you work.

So as a boss, I would tell that firing is easiest solution, and it's better then trying to adapt to his or her whims. But as an employee, I'd say that you should think of quitting willingly rather then wait to be fired.

Social Talk. Text 197.

Task: heated argument between person and a table.

Take me up and take me down,
then just do it all around.
There's no time for you to blow it.
I'm heavy and I know it.

You're wooden freak, shut up and go,
to Mary Louise on six floor.
She's been expecting you today,
a sturdy kitchen table, as they say.

I'm on my way, don't hurry me,
my knees are bended, silly me.
You need to push me in the back,
or carry my whole body as backpack.

You're wooden table, stomp yourself.
And your whole body, as you said,
weights more then human being,
so do your steps and don't be mean.

Two hours later, me and him,
were on six floor and ting-a-ling.
Young lady opened, said she's Kate,
and Mary lives in building A.

Social Talk. Text 196.

Task: free topic about Earth day.

Earth day is known to be annual event of expression love towards our planet, day of showing intentions, day of thinking ahead, day of many words. John Jay Junior always remembered this day as a happy, joyful one, with a little tint of madness.

Year after year things have been happening on that day. Three J, as many of his friends used to call him, knew that not a single logical explanation could be applied to his fate, thus making himself believe it was just a mischievous guardian angels playing tricks on him.

First year, when it all started, Junior was chosen to be representative of his own town in the state kindergarten contest. Next year was claimed of beating a boy in the school and was transferred to a seedy school nearby. Another year it was broken leg or student grant, totalled car or big jackpot.

Sad and happy John has been, on a sunny day of April every single year in spring.

Having found bad and good, Jay found out that his striped life has come to an end. On this day, two years before, he met a girl, one year later married her, and right now, three in a row, he's expecting family to grow.

Social Talk. Text 195.

Task: how can one become internationally aware?

Term cross-cultural awareness implies your understanding of a situations you might face being abroad, or at least your awareness that such circumstances are quite feasible. But how can one become aware of all possible and impossible threats he might accidentally put himself in?

Should you know only the bottom of an abyss between your nations and avoid using concessions or just being polite, you're jeopardizing yourself to get branded as shallow and superficial person whom nobody would trust a business deal.

Yet being extra agreeable makes you look like an newbie in negotiations or business, thus tantamount to a loose. So you need to be persistent and have guts to take precedence over the situation if needed.

Social Talk. Text 194.

Task: distinguishing features of business negotiations in different countries.

First of all I'd like to say that contemporary world forces you to follow the leader, which now consists of several countries, and negotiations are not exception. There are dozens of rules and tactics you cannot avoid using. And while those guide lines are considered to be handy and useful, some still refer to the past century as the last, truly golden, age of business.

Yet, in my opinion, in terms of business and negotiations there were even better times. The times Before Christ.

Bargaining was the most used tactics. Were you a king or a mere sailor - you should have used it artfully to have the scales of win-lose on your side, and of course bad outcome might have been a lot worse then nowadays.

Being a representative of modern society I'd add that rarely do people switch back to something they have dropped using long time ago, but if they do, they often regret doing it.

Social Talk. Text 193.

Task: what would you do having found yourself in prisoners dilemma?

One way out, you know, to be.
One way out it's all you see.
There is no escape, yet three,
little options to be free.

Option one is in regrets.
Make him silent, and just tell.
Tell them all, - that was his fault,
but it's your time to behold.

Option two is mutual fail.
Both are talking, but in vain.
Both oblivious and greedy,
will be serving full time swiftly.

And the last one. That one's good.
You are quiet, and he should.
Where the reason for a flee?
If you're silent - you are free.

Social Talk. Text 192.

Task: free topic.

Rarely do we think about negotiation before it happens, and the idea that improvisation should be craftily prepared is often omitted. Whether you're appliance salesman, or a teacher at NewTone, or maybe you're just met some friend whom you owe a little - you should be ready.

Be ready to put up a squabble, to answer various questions happy client firing you with, or just to be yourself. All that's required is at hand knowledge and certain skill.

So how can you improve you chances of winning the negotiation? Should it be experience? Or perhaps a bit of luck? Who knows.. the only thing we know for sure is that negotiations are considered to be tricky and it's not a place or time to manifest your coy.

Social Talk. Text 191.

Task: are negotiations for weak people?

In certain way negotiations are meant to be a remedy for people, to help them meet each other needs throughout reciprocation or logrolling, finding common ground in the known to be deserted areas of business or relationship. But your attitude towards this method of solving the upcoming issues is irrelevant unless you've been practising it for years.

A s for the weak people, they are considered to be vacillating in commitments and always try to amend the things that have been done ages ago. They are reluctant to make first step, and it seems so that no one, who's not strong enough, doesn't seem to be capable of making any use of negotiations.

Should it be win-win arrangement in your mind, it's always win-lose in the tough reality.

Social Talk. Text 190.

Task: is our life a sales cycle?

Whether it's sales cycle or any other fancy term, it could denote our life with equal meanings, making it seem like is has sense. But life itself, thanks to it's diversity, could be perceived as anything, including vicious sales cycle.

You're being conceived as a prospect, which was a lead to one couple some day. And this couple has been qualifying each other for a long time, handling objections and making marvellous presentations. But would it be possible without initial contact they had, that was appointed by the lead, in other words thanks to a friend who happened to be their referral.

I know you consider this explanation to be dubious, but here you are. New member of society. A prospect to your parents, a presentation for your fellows, an objection to your enemies and a closed sale to your future spouse.

Do you like that definition of a life by a sales cycle? I guess it's just another way to say that I'm alive.

Social Talk. Text 189.

Task: depict your product sales approach using seven stages of a sales process.

My headhunting agency is constantly developing, breaking through the boundaries of impossible, and to maintain constantly groving demand for professionals, we must have them at our hands. So today we're the ones who are in search. Pondering over depth of modern business I've got my new assistant to elaborate on seven stages of sales process with above mentioned requirements in mind. Next morning following profound data was in my mailbox.

1. Generating sales leads.
We should act like getting sales were our company's main goal, so I suggest to make a move towards main universities and private schools of top ten countries at least. Prospects are expected to be found among the middle and high rank teachers.

2. Setting an appointment.
Visit lectures for purposeful meeting, or look for a prospect in their favourite pubs for casual atmosphere

3. Qualifying the prospect.
Main criteria of a prospect relatively to our needs would be level of his classes. Things such as complexity of a particular study, number of previously graduated students who are involved in high science and other major figures listed in addition A to this letter should be taken into consideration. On the other hand we must confirm their verification of our intentions by letting the prospect peek at our price list for infiltration agents.

4. Making presentation.
Showing data on recent ten deals would be enough to encourage anybody to cooperate.

5. Handling objections.
Key to success at that point is to put our rules of engagement in front of any other. Anybody who has objections to what has been shown to them, should be eliminated from priority lists no matter what.

6. Closing the sale.
Having constructed the objections stage so craftily, I may say that closing the deal is not a problem at all.

7. Asking for referrals.
The most wise choice is to ignore all restrictions in making the wrong deal in favour of good referrals. We can hire janitor as our agent for certain data that he has access to. And as well as hiring a janitor, occasionally we might consider possibility of neglecting influence on the principal as a right one.

End of the letter.

Social Talk. Text 188.

Task: imagine your friend's calling you and says that he cheated on his client a little bit, for his company advantage, but obvious loss of money on the clients side. What would you do?

As a friend I would ream him a little, and several minutes later I would say something like this:

What you did has no concern with your ethics or moral, it's just your job to run things well. Aren't you suppose to sell cars? Or have you forgotten about your direct duties? To make profit for your employeer. You are the last person who should be blamed for the ramifications.

I bet that woman had had dozens of options like yours, but only thanks to her laziness she had chosen that particular retailer that happened to be your workplace and have willingly accepted your democratic proposal. Or at least she thinks so.

After all people like her have been fostering bosses just like yours for generations, and if she cannot stop, then greedy retailers would swim in cash forever.

Social Talk. Text 187.

Task: make a poster. Romance at workplace awareness.

Slides album in google+

Slides text:
1. (blank - intro speech)  Modern society has variety of rules to be applied to a mere worker, but one of the cruellest one is dates restrictions, most companies have. So..
2. beware (creepy silence)
3. of love (should be said in harsh manner)
4. brought to you by Ryan (calm and cosy voice)
5. (just frame)  Lets start from setting up some boundaries.
6. And another one.
7. Lets take for example a worker who works just fine, but might have been involved in some dating with a peer experience.
8. Bad worker. (fast and loud)
9. Now lets take another worker who's oblivious to any inklings of a heart.
10. That's a good worker. (calm, but sure voice)
11. You can tell by their look. The one is said, and that other is pretty happy. You see.
12. Lets put them into separate cubicles.
13. (heart shown)  What ramification can "lovey-dovey" actually cause?
14. (just lines)  There are only two ways.. and each of them is harmful to a company.
15. You got engaged, then kids, then you're late for work and evetually got yourself fired.
16. Or the other one - you split up and for months you're just useless decrepit piece of worker.
17. I hope this motivational poster would change your mind in this serious matter.

Social Talk. Text 186.

Task: pros and cons of making chalk from one and cheese from another.

Favoritism is something that any company should try to avoid in the process of maintaining its workers, but who am I kidding? That's only theoretical, yet ought to be mandatory, statement proved to be useless in real world.

Lets take, for example, salary.. before (or after, which depends on various reasons) you're being interviewed you have a right to claim your future compensation package. It's not a favoritism yet, even though equal workers have different salary, but can evolve into one if worker with lower salary and bigger amount of work finds out yours.

Regardless of such manifestation of power this method allows proper allocation of resources due to simple thing: work more and you will get more. All you have to do as a manager is convey you message properly, so that every one understands it well.

It's not favoritism, you may say, but what would you answer were you on the lower salary man place?

Social Talk. Text 185.

Task: is it easier to be a team member or a team leader?

I cannot give specific answer as for what is easier, but I can tell for sure that being a team leader is much harder. You not only have bigger pile of work at your table which should be done quicker and better in comparison to ordinary worker, but also certain quantity of people who ought to be supervised by you.

But what ramifications should you feel if one day you're being promoted to a team leader? Lack of sleep in critical moments of development stages, higher risks of being dismissed in case something goes wrong and so on. Which leads us to a question whether it's really so necessary to be a team leader, making work a huge part of your life, when you can be just an employee whose job is to be at work in time, and keep up with the surrounding cubicles.

These dubious questions might dash though any mind thinking over cons and pros of an offer, but we all know that, beside obvious, such proposal will tell who you really are.. aspiring, valuable worker or just a work horse.

Social Talk. Text 184.

Task: creativity, is it innate or could be boosted?

Such feature of human, I guess, is possessed by majority, but thanks to its nature is also lost by many.
Regardless of creativity level you're given at birth, you could easily lose it, as well as develop it into much bigger possession.

Having bits of laziness your parents had since childhood, you'd probably get a slight inclination into sloppiness with decisions and actions, but nevertheless that hint of a awkwardness may be gone by just equal amount of strain from your side.

What I'm trying to say is that people got lost in modern world of possibilities, with help of gadgets and handy services we're doomed to be slaves of our own fears and complexes. More and more people use Google even before they start questioning themselves what should I do.. But asking search engine isn't such good idea, your brain get used to it to quickly for you to notice the problem, and in the matter of month, not years, you're an addict!

Think by yourself if you need this piece of information, but if you just try, you might get marvellous results you'd never expect from inner you.

Social Talk. Text 183.

Task: 10 unorthodox ways to use a brick.

Brick a weapon, brick a wall,
brick a pillow and a ball.
Brick to think and brick to cry,
brick to use it in last try.
Brick is stiff, so use it well -
measure depth of deepest hell,
brick to save your fire heat,
brick to solve all people's needs.

That chant represents only eleven things that could be done to a reddish rectangular parallelepiped known as a brick, but talking about brick as a metaphor, I'd like to speculate about one assumption.. Assume that brick you're holding is not just brick, it's The Brick.

Pyramids are made from bricks, and they managed to survive through generations of people with few scratches on them, but were they just separate bricks, nobody would even give them a glimpse.

What could be done to my brick, you can ask yourself, to make it a lot more then it is? Easiest solution is to give it to some person that collects bricks and ask something in return for it instantly or in distant future.
The other option is that you can become that one man who collects bricks and builds pyramids from them.

In contemporary world brick is symbol of power. Virtual bricks, known as shares, are the essence of any corporation. You give them your brick and in return you receive a paper with statement that you will have got twice bricks you donated by the end of the year if you sign there and there.

It's up to you where to stick your brick.

Social Talk. Text 182.

Task: free topic.

Talking about business management structures, I cannot avoid mentioning some real examples of restrictions that could be applied to an average office worker nowadays.

Example number one. You can use only proved to be safe web pages. Which leads to dubious situations when you can use Google for search the topic you need, but can read nothing due to those limitations.

Example number two. You must be concentrated only on your current duties. Things such as repairing your laptop keyboard, changing light bulb in your cubicle or taking down the fire building engulfed with are not in your direct competence. Just ignore them.

Example number three. You may be forced to willingly collect stats on your working day. What software you have used the most, how long was your lunch, not to tell about when you have started to work and have you ever been working at all.

Example number five. Shadowing.. it's when your immediate manager is controlling your every step. Watching you making every single move. Suspiciously looking at you talking to colleague or using a phone.

Those are just rough estimation of a variety of situations you may find yourself one day. Just be cautious.

P.S. And with all those who're interested in where the hell is example number four, we will have our personal little chat.

Social Talk. Text 181.

Task: which type of management, in your opinion, is better, soft one or strict one?

Being on position related to Personnel management in some sort of way, I must say that both approaches - pampering one and scaring one are equally correct, but one should be used only with one employer relying on his personal features, requests and so on.

There're a lot of people whose goal on your job is not to make this company flourish, because they don't recognise themselves as a part of it, but only to follow orders. Such kind of people can be decent employers, but only under strict supervision.

The rest, and I assume there is smaller number of those who fall into this category, are self driven specialists who compare ones fails and success with company ones, thus making himself responsible for company soaring times, as well as the downfalls. Can you imagine what kind of stress this person is putting himself into? Do you still think that he needs additional money motivation?

There's no one solution for worker management and I think the best way is to find approach to every single individual you work with.. Then both of you will work better and harder for the sake of your mutual goal.

Social Talk. Text 180.

Task: Is it men's world?

Born a boy, yet not a man,
has whole life to try to tell:
is there difference in us?
Boy - a man, and boy - a guy.

Boy a sissy, I would say,
tend to be a common way these days.
Having thingy's not enough,
better check if you have guts.

Guts to make the right decision,
and respond for wrong one too.
Guts to say the words, and meant it,
guts to say that I love you.

And one day you'll be a man,
being even further from an end.
But right now obliged to do,
things that boy's just dreaming though.

Things which make you understand -
"man or woman" is not trend,
it is so that we're united,
and in any other way - just frightened.

Social Talk. Text 179.

Task: Kids - plus or minus while seeking a job?

First of all I want to clarify - what kind of question this is? How should I, as a worker, say that my kids would influence my work? And how any employer can even assume such thing? Aren't we all human?

But that's just first impression, which is, frankly speaking, quite right. Think yourself, have you hired a man with a kid, would you threat him differently knowing that he has or has not wife and decent house in suburb. And having him not hired would you changed your opinion if you had realized that his daughter is marrying next month?

Anyway, I'd like to highlight positive aspects of hiring someone with kids, and in my opinion such people are both more persistent in decisions and positive in general. Which makes them ideal applicants for office worker.

As for the employers point of view, such workers prove to be more profitable. They try to do all duties in time to get bonuses and if they ask for a sick leave - be sure they mean it.

What really concerns me, is that such man or woman doesn't fit into risky offers. So it's up to you whom to employ.

Social Talk. Text 178.

Stress. Work. Stimulus.

Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.
Coffee. Candy. Cutting corner.
Seamless stress surrounds some.
Love, laughs - later. Labelled - lag.
Work was witness, work would wait.
There's Tom. Trapped traitor's tamed.
Stimulus's sly spell! Superb stiff set.
Silly situation's - solemn stress.
Wine won't work, we want withdrawal.
Honest homey, hustle hurdle.
Story's sad. Should summarize.
Hope. Betrayal. Fake. Speed-up!

Social Talk. Text 177.

Task: Create five "strange" question which you'd ask interviewee. What each of them should reveal?

"On the interview " chant, by Ryan.

Would you dare to ask a man:
Where've you been on April ten? (there)
Whom fat neighbours cat reminds you? (pigeon)
Where's the candle from the night ball? (in my pocket)
When the longest day of year? (birthday)
What do flying fish do to swim? (dive)
Have you ever tried to cry? (one time)
Why all pigeons are so shy? (cause of cats)
Does your friend avoid the law? (only bends it)
Groaning mood, but whom to stall? (chase your tail)
Tiny tiny - where it grows? (in the egg)
Color's green, connection lost,
your brain starts the neuron burst.
Raw emotions, truly yours,
no one ever was so close.
To the dead end of no where,
to the deepest depths of cortex layer.
All is done, you were so brave,
you're not hired yet not failed.
You just showed that it could be -
pure mind, so young and sweet.
Days have passed, but you still smile,
every time you see - HR.

Social Talk. Text 176.

Task: create CV for fictitious character - Neo, from Matrix.

Name: Thomas A Anderson aka Neo aka The One
Cell phone: Nokia 8810i
Email: deleted due to rare usage available
Photo: call me, and I'll be there for you

Areas of Expertise:
Highly trained in marshal arts and weapon systems of all sorts. Can write program code. Occasionally foresee future.

Professional background
Date (starting with the most recent), Place of employment, Position, Responsibilities

2004 - present time: unemployed due to fully fulfilled duties.
2000 - 2003: Place: Zion, Position: The chosen One, responsible for saving people of Zion from extinction and the city itself from destruction.
1999 - 2000: Place: Outside of the Matrix, Position: job shadowing on the vacancy of The chosen One, responsible of self training and saving my mentor.
prior to 1999: Place: Inside the Matrix, Position: program writer for a respectable software company. Responsible of being at work on time.

Educational background
Date (starting with the most recent), Institution, Department, Diplomas acquired

No specific date: Attended Central West Junior High and Owen Patterson High. Was involved in football and hockey.

Additional information



Achievements: Saved Zion, neutralized 241 Matrix agents.
Internships: at Nebuchadnezzar with Morpheus in charge.
Language proficiency: English, bad English, C++, Java and Latin.
Other skills: Stop bullets with raised hand or capable of avoiding them if the right moment comes. Can see Matrix developed individuals as yellow something. Can decode Matrix code. Can fly and other stuff like that.
Personality: very generous, white rabbit lover, and desperate in helping other with nothing in return.


Please do not threat this text as a reference. I love Matrix trilogy, but some "facts" were exaggerated for the sake of lesson where this text was told. Thanks.

References used:
Wiki: Neo (ru)

Wiki: Neo (eng)

Social Talk. Text 175.

Task: Worse job ever. Ad.

Man required for the job, six feet tall and funny one.
Will be doing easy work, fixing screws and drilling holes.
No excuses to be late, fees are higher every day.
One time meal included here, but on Wednesday and not free.
Team's hostile and likes no one, so you'd better be a bigger one.
Feel at ease, we fire none.. they all perished somehow.
Screws are tiny - ten inch long, drill supplied, but may be broken.
Pluses our work can give listed in the brief description here:
You work seven days a week, from nine to five and extra three.
You work here and there of course, Alabama, state NewYork,
Honolulu, and Alaska, and occasional Nebraska.
Two days off if you sick leave, or whole five is you big wheel.
Best and luckiest place to work, and nobody will say no.
The facility's superb - we have shower, even soap.
Hesitate my friend no more - calls us, we will pick you at the door.

Social Talk. Text 174.

Task: Make a elevator speech from one of four storytellers.

Desperately trying to find a job, twenty three year old Steward from Idaho reinvented as old as a world approach to make first impression on possible employers, and since Internet has made lots of information available he decided to conduct a very strange research.

Collecting various info on big wheels he found himself totally consumed by the task, forgetting his core goal - to find a job. Four month have passed. Never Internet cut-off due to enormous debt was so painful to a human being, yet it helped him to actually begin with searching a job instead of digging out outstanding mysteries of those so called captains of industry.

Compiling dozens of pages of information and buying at the flee market very special, yet extra cheap gratitude gift he headed to his first accidental meeting dash interview.

How astounded he was when he has got a job, yet never talked to anyone whom he planned to. It happened so that he met Ryan from ROME on his way and had a nice little chat..

- Hi there, - a stranger said. - I see you have finest bow in history of elves versus orcs annual cosplay battle.
- It's a present for big cheese in town. - I vaguely replied, but the next strangers phrase got out of the blue.
- I guess for Freddie? - he said - He's a big fan of this particular bow, was looking it for ages. Easy way to get two of three hundred grand I must say, - and after a small pause, while I was slowly picking up my jaw, added - if you only had arrows, you might have asked for a million without hesitations.
- It seems to me that you know a lot about this Freddie and his habits.. not to tell about bow itself. - that was the only phrase I was capable of. Four month of digging though secret web pages to find scraps of information, to meet one day guy who knows it all in details.

His emotion was telling me that he wanted to tell a lot more, but instead he just asked:
- Lets make a deal. I'll look for arrows, and we split million in two precisely equal halves. What do you say?

What could I have said? I got a job that I never dreamt of.

Social Talk. Text 173.

Task: How you'd have hiring done in your company?

How I met my first employee.

Listen carefully folks, I'm going to tell you the story of my life, and it begins with ticket.

Back then, when I was all young and green, I had this idea, circling in my mind for monthes, idea of helping people. We all were obsessed with it, cause if you have helped at least one person per month during academic year, you would get a hefty bonus to your points. And as I said it has begun with a ticket.

Actually it was two tickets that I usually bought, one for me, and one for someone who might have desperately needed it. And while this concept gave me from two to five bonus people per month, I have planned to adhere it.

I've met dozens of people in such a way. Scientists, musicians, plumbers, till one day I've met a guy just like me, who was helping people with tickets. I would have never believed back then that's possible to hire people in public transport, but it is.

There's no better place to search for people then crowded rush hour bus, or local evening train. You never know when destiny is going to bring just the right person into view.. just keep looking.

Social Talk. Text 172.

Task: depict your company's ideal office.

My headhunting agency would need no office at all in its development though sole proprietorship into corporation, and in fact assumption of having one is flattening my extremely graceful cash flow projection line.

So I can only speculate on what could have happened, would I have an office now. Things like.. supply management issues and annual profit losses, parking lot jams and "Somebody ate my sandwich" letters, troubles finding proper receptionist and delivery transport repairment depot - would be only few of my problems to cope with, not to mention we actually suppose to search for people to hunt.

Sounds frightening I must say, and instead of depicting actual office building, I would like to tell my vision of a workspace I see myself in. As my work techniques evolve, I evolve along with then, pushing headhunting possibilities beyond its limit, setting up a new checkpoints in both local and global head market.

How my so called "office" should look like to satisfy my needs? It should be spacious, with water and food available at reasonable price, and I must have access to constantly refilling energy source - that is batteries, for my portable equipment. And I guess I know exact name for this type of office.. it is called freedom.

Social Talk. Text 171.

Task: Speculate about strict and severe rules that some companies use towards their employees.

Severe, and sometimes unnecessary rule in company's charter, may be found useful in perspective, if we use years of work time, rather then weeks, during which most workers start to complaint. For instance proper nutrition could be recognized by employees as restrictions of their needs, but instead intend to make them less overweight. Yet nobody cares about it now, eating half a ton of free cookies at dinery.

But such a simple example cannot show all varieties of misunderstanding between employer and employees. If you're forbidden to talk during work time with your colleagues on anything besides work, there must be a reason for that, and no matter how much you hate it, it must be good to deprive you of talks, and maybe your boss thinks that chatterbox is not so fancy name for a crowd of people who supposed to be profitable, but instead were able to prove one thing - the more people you have, the less time it needs for gossip to travel though building.

As for so called violation of your rights, such as restrictions in wear strong perfumes or revealing cloth, usually workers are absolutely right. No doubts that each cubicle has it's own air and time space quantum positioning, so no other human or even a scrap of something in entire corporation can penetrate it's boundaries. So yes. Strong fragrance is highly recommended.

Anyway, rules are not made to be broken, they are made to save something. Life for instance, so be careful avoiding it.

Social Talk. Text 170.

Is office for an employee, or employee for an office?

Searching for a job may lead you someday to a conclusion that it's essential to have your working place arranged in the best way possible. If you're student, searching for a part time offer, or a downsized worker in need of money, probably you're not to be very picky in the matter of working place as long as it is, but once you're pro in your sphere of activities, you start to notice that your output equally depends on both, tiredness and coziness.

And while you're being tired through the day regardless of anything besides coziness, the coziness itself rely on various factors, such is: comfortable positioning, fast machinery, appealing and challenging tasks, friendly people and so forth. So there is certain correlation between comfort, which makes you fell better, and productivity, relying on the comfort level of your office.
Could it be age which makes you feel that way? I don't know, but hope it is not. I prefer to think that your creativity on work, diligence and perseverance are outcome of your inner state, that is your comfort.

So lets try to sum up the idea of comfort at work.
Employer should offer you, besides things required by law, possibility of making a carrier, supply you with tasks that are able to make your mind work, and last, but not the least, part of you should feel that being at work is just like being at home, but better.. cause you’re being paid. In fact you give your work as much, as it gives you..

Social Talk. Text 169.

Does money change or reveal?

Winning bunch of bucks is fate,
are you ready for this mate?
Lucky charm, a rabbits foot,
hope they'll help me, I'm bankrupt.

With this chant all over mind,
I step up to lucky land.
Tickets, balls, some numbers lot,
can I beat this mess, I'm not..

Lost all fortune in a game.
Game which used to have the name.
Which has never been with me,
game - I always cannot win.

Rules apply, but game has changed -
biggest bet you've ever made,
insufficient, not enough,
making you an outcast.

Game, called life, is not the same,
playing it you bet yourself.
Bets are made, but bound to lose,
such a life not one to choose.

Will you win is up to you,
but remember simple truth,
no one wins without a loss,
even if it's tickets price at most.

Social Talk. Text 168.

SS - Staf surveillance department presentation.

In order not to be downsized department, me, as head of it, was intrusted a task of representing what we actually do, yet not in the way presentations should be done, nor in the way things really are in our department. Presentation ought to aim only one target - to stay alive.

My team has been studying this issue for almost ten minutes, and came to a conclusion that we are not the ones to be fired due to numerous video files we possess. Would you like to see men in back room playing poker? Or chief financial officer holding a party in the headquarters every weekend?

Of course that data is to be used only as plan B, but it's better to be prepared. With all above mentioned in my mind, I started to write my actual presentation text.

Firstly I would mention how we improve quality of services our company provides by monitoring all our workers online activity in popular social networks, such as editing posts in nosebook and banning giggles in snicker. Then I'd say something about how we build inter workers relationship, and then I would gently hint about surveillance cameras all over the place.

If this doesn't work, I will go straight to the plan B. With my text finished and reread several times, I headed to the chief executive to discuss which department to abolish.

Social Talk. Text 167.

Speedom off reech total shock.

Writing a social talk we must use only valid grammar, but what if we didn't? Lets try to change it a bit.

We speak not must Russian here in. It's understandable, or this one.. Not should information our include personal speech.

Sounds like gibberish isn't it? That rule (of things affected by rules) applies to virtually everything, excluding, perhaps, only chaos theory. Yet some people try to implement chaos in art, in attempts to create something new using their vision - something that's now called - modern art.

Here in NewTone we're not so often allowed to free our minds completely, and that's a good way to study I must admit, but since we're having our last class of the "Freedom of speech week", lets try a bit of impromptu. Brace yourself, here it goes.

Study had about great, little would I verse, I know it be.
The badly words to lines are not, but shuffled tell about.
We've best to got it seems, in grammar's me and our study it.
Go the day insane lets not, is nuts, but lets go today.


(correct variant)
Little verse about study would be great, I know, I had it.
But the lines are shuffled badly, not to tell about words.
Grammar's best in our study, and it seems to me, we've got it.
But today is not the day, lets go nuts, lets go insane!

Social Talk. Text 166.

One week in the head hunting agency.

Matt's younger brother Stanley, who recently returned from his seemed to be endless mission in Bolivia, was hardly employed, constantly unsatisfied with himself type of guy, whose occasional moan would make anybody go nuts. So when his niece, Diana, offered him to try out his skills in head hunting, he willingly accepted the vacant "job shadowing" place in Ryan O Mars enterprise.

The next day he departed to his new work, and returned only in nine days time. Full of energy, ready to conquer the world and make around the globe voyage at the same time. His first phrase was: - I'm in. - and the second one - Give me something to eat. I'm starving.

After double supper he finally began to talk.

The first head was just marvellous, - he told. - A genius head whose IQ is over two hundred with knowledge of astrophysics was required in two days. We dashed through the major universities and schools for gifted, but my sudden thought helped us to do all in time. We cornered two individuals within given scope in the online game when they were cheating, and making in-game gold out of thin air.

The second task was something extraordinary. Find a head, task stated, which doesn't want to be found and seeks the truth only in reflections. I was perplexed yet thrilled, but having known nothing about this particular head just followed my team leader into depth of unknown.

His phone rang, and Stanley, giving it a tiny glance, raced to the front door. By the time he reached the pavement, black sport car stopped near him.

My family is in a bit of a shock right now, but me, Diana Longster, knows everything about that organization. Ryan is my close friend, and I believe that I entrusted my uncle in the right hands. After all it's the best job ever.

Social Talk. Text 165.

(Task: write mission statement for your imaginary enterprise)

The task of developing a mission statement for Ryan O Mars Head Hunting agency turned out to be the most difficult yet, so Diana, being a very reasonable person, and having tried everything she could, went to bed with feelings of bitter despair circling in her mind.

Subconscious is very powerful thing, - she thought - maybe it will do the compilation of the facts I know, and produce me a well crafted statement? After ten minutes of annoying tumbling in the bed, she whispered some fancy economic term and felt asleep.

Waking up at six o'clock the first thing she did was writing down that sleepy nonsense her head was still digesting in the state of morning trance. Bur when Diana returned from the shower with her cup of coffee and favorite strawberry bagel from Nick's best bakery, early note instantly caught her attention.

Grayish, pencil written, letters were jumping out from the scrap of DreamWriter sticker, trying to convey it's message, which was - "There are no indispensable people."
Thought, bright a as day, raced though her mind - I knew I can make it! It's definitely the one I've been looking for.

Screaming and yelling shouts of joy she dashed to her car in the slippers and bathrobe and in several minutes was working at her office computer with all templates of master slogan she has been developing for over a month now. But sudden allarm made her raise her head. Intuitively pulling her hand she reached round and buzzing object which turned to be her bed table alarm clock.. she woke up instantly, but the answer has been already found.

Social Talk. Text 164.

(Task: Fill out form.)

Demand.

In modern world, headhunting is quite in demand due to constant lack of highly qualified people, but in ancient times it was a little bit different way to spend time.

Potential customers / audience

Today it can be any company, or individual, who wants to get full or part time employee with required skill set. Yet back then it was a person who'd like to have a specific head or head set.

Price

That's the most interesting part. Taking headhunting requests we try to maximize your profit, trying to deliver as many candidates data as we can, if not specified otherwise. Thus our expences can be doubled or even tripled depending on circumstances we'd encounter. As for the past usage of headhunting services - it was one silver coin per head.

Target group

Market dictates it's rules - so the one asking for a favour is our target group. You're five and want to get a lawyer to sue your kindergarten friend? We're at your service. You're ninety nine and want to find yourself a partner for the rest of your days? We're on it. There is no limits for our hunting.
Yet, as far as we aware, previously it was only elite who had a chance to be a target. I mean target group.

Your product's benefits (UPSs)

We claim that we can bring any person to your office within certain time frame, hence we have widest possible UPS - every single human falling in that category. I must add that comparing to past UPS quantity, which has been always singular, namely head, modern headhunting is a huge step forward.

Social Talk. Text 163.

(Task: What if my business plan worked out?)

My business plan task was fulfilled with one idea in mind, we need heads, and if that presentation tend to be funny and more visual, this text is about to be as serious as it could be.

While head-hunting term could be understood differently, what it really means is how it literally being pronounced. Modern world consists of millions of companies who would give a lot to acquire smart person who is pro and can increase revenue of an enterprise. That's how hiring agencies appeared, and proved themselves to be a very viable business.

The head is the main goal of venture called hunting. Agency not just places ads and commercials with work offers, but actually huts every single men in the scope required. Good times, when companies could have chosen top dogs out of hundreds applied, are gone, and contemporary world compels us to find new ways of hiring, of actual hunting for the personnel in the city jungles.

You can hire a dozen, a hundred workers, but certain strategies had proven that a sole human could triple your company profit in a year. And my agency would have found this human, if it were founded under my meticulous supervision.

What does it show, this, so called, modern hiring policy? That me, as experienced professional, will be able to find appropriate job in the matter of days. And the most important that now it's me who picks the company, from now on and forever.

Social Talk. Text 162.

Task for our social was to create funny business plan for imaginary company. I must say that whole group accomplished task quite well, and some of the presentations were very funny. Here goes mine: Ryan O Mar enterprise

Social Talk. Text 161.

If I were to buy a franchise, what would it be?

In my mind, there is a voice -
I need franchise, I need a choice.
To make a business of my own,
and to have moneys constant flow.

But it is hard for me to have,
a weapon business - selling planes.
And neither of the countries will,
give me the power to be king.

So is there single one for me?
A dream franchise, are you to be?
Or maybe printing money is?
I have been looking it for years.

I guess that knowledge mine is weak,
should have predicted it, I think.
Where is the one I'm craving for?
Does it stand behind the door?

Door slams open - postman's here.
There's recruitment letter sir!
I guess my dreams come to an end.
Army's waiting - that's dead end.

Social Talk. Text 160.

Describe pros and cons of becoming an entrepreneur.

I'm working nine to five, but my friend are all just fine.
They are bosses, not like me - mere cleaner on the street.
Roy has car-sale and scrap yard, he's best dream - is Cadillac.
Mandy, Roys young sister's geek - has her own pink / blond boutique.
And the oldest, fatty boy, has a bar with vast deploy.

They have cars, a house, flat. All they may have wanted yet.
Suddenly - a brightest flash. I'm not worse then them. Not yet.
Could it be so that my dream - "to have streets just nice and clean",
be implanted in this town, with the help of my own mind?
Would I dare to take a risk, starting "Little Ryan's clean"?

This would be the mightiest firm, holding business of new form.
Clean with robots and so on, so that people stayed at home.
No necessity at all, do the meenest job of all.
Think in future I would be.. CEO or executive.
And my old and dearest friends are allowed to be right hands.

Dreaming of the place I'll live, I forgot I need to clean.
I was fired the same day, kinda lame of me, must say.
Guess that ventures aren't for me, they are making me feel sick.
Now I'm pity I'm not geek, otherwise I could've succeeded.
Could have done it, be delighted, but instead I'm here and fractured.

New study.

We're about to face new challenge in English study - new business course in our language school. Don't know exactly what it like, but I'm sure it will be as fun as others.

Hope to write few more "social talks"..